Recipe for Disaster: Ham-and-Egg Towers

This beauty comes from the Soup and Sandwiches Cookbook put out by Family Circle magazine in 1972. Whoever first came up with the idea to make a sandwich look like a cake is an effing evil genius. Can you imagine your surprise as you bite into a slice of angel-food, only to find that it tastes like mayonnaisey ham and egg salad? The Family Circle caption to the above photo reads, "Reward the first person who realizes that Ham-and-Egg Towers is not angel food cake, but a delicious combination of ham and egg between white bread slices." I think that this "reward" would be met with a punch in the face.

I like that the recipe includes instructions on how to make "dill-pickle wheels." In the '70s, garnish was everything - no matter how vile the dish, the inclusion of a radish rose meant it was the height of culinary fashion. I think the aim here is to enhance the sandwich's cake disguise, along with the cream cheese-parsley "icing." This is the Fletch of sandwiches.

When Dave and I went to Sweden last year we learned that this horror is fairly commonplace in Scandinavia. In fact, we spotted the elusive beast on a buffet table near Goteborg, but neither of us were brave enough to try it. Here's the recipe, so you can avoid trying it too.

Ham-and-Egg Towers

6 hard-cooked eggs, shelled and chopped
1/2 cup diced celery
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/2 tsp mustard
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup ground cooked ham
2 packages (8 oz each) cream cheese, softened
6 tbsp light cream
12 slices round white bread
1/2 cup chopped parsley

1. Mix chopped eggs, celery, mayo, mustard, and salt in a bowl.
2. Blend ground ham, half of one package of cream cheese, and 1 tablespoon of the cream until smooth in a small bowl. Place remaining cream cheese and cream in a separate bowl; set aside for step 4.
3. Spread egg-salad mixture on 6 slices of the bread, and ham on 4 slices. Stack slices, alternating egg with ham, in 2 piles of 5 each; top with remaining bread slices.
4. Blend cream cheese and cream in bowl until smooth. Spread mixture over each sandwich stack to frost completely. Pat parsley on tops and sides to cover. Chill several hours.
5. When ready to serve, cut each stack into quarters with a very sharp knife. garnish with dill-pickle wheels and serve with radish roses. To make dill-pickle wheels, shave thin strips from medium sized dill pickles with a vegetable parer. Roll strips, then bunch 3 together; wrap another strip around all to hold them in place.

Serves 8 sad cowpokes