Recipe for Disaster: Ham Mousse

There are few food items that turn my stomach as intensely as meat jello. I'm not sure why it became chic in the mid-twentieth century to combine meat and gelatin, but vintage cookbooks tend to include recipes for an alarming number of chicken- beef- and ham-based jello molds. Aside from the fact that these abominations are textural nightmares, their unnatural shapes and glossy sheens tend to invoke images of a future without hope -- a post-apocalyptic wasteland where all food comes processed, reconstituted, and pre-formed. A world where "Vegetables," "Fresh," and "Organic" have been erased from the vocabulary, newspeak-style.

I don't know about you, but I refuse to allow the Ministry of Love to force ham mousse down my throat. In rebellious solidarity, make this recipe and then burn the horrific results. We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Ham Mousse

1 tbsp gelatin
1/4 cup cold water
1.5 cups chicken stock
3 cups ham, chopped
1/4 cup celery, chopped
1 tbsp onion, grated
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup sweet-sour pickles, chopped
3 tbsp dill
1/2 tsp white pepper

1. Place gelatin in 1/4 cup water. Add chicken stock and bring to a boil.
2. Chill mixture. When it is almost set, add the rest of the ingredients.
3. Moisten a mold with cold water and add mixture. Chill until firm.

serves 10